life

9.

Have you ever met people who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their life? I have a friend who I met when we were just teenagers. It was so apparent to me he was meant to create music. I remember sitting in the music room where I pretended I could harmonize, watching my friend light up while he sang and went against the grain. It was so clear who he was going to be in that moment.

That same year, I spent an entire weekend forcing a thought on what I should do with my life. If I racked my brain any harder I’m sure I would’ve popped a blood vessel (it’s still up for debate if I did). All I could come up with was generic answers about changing the world. I was disappointed and frustrated in myself that I couldn’t figure it out.

A few years ago I had a particularly intense year of work and decided to take a solo vacation. (One of the perks of being a single working woman.) As an extrovert, taking a week to not talk to a soul was a new experience for me. My mind would wander most at night, when I’d sneak down to the beach and lay in the cool sand watching the moon shimmy behind the floating clouds. I wrote, and I thought a lot, hoping I’d get the answer to the question that still miffed me, “What am I supposed to do with my life?”

You never forget the moment the purpose giver speaks to the purposeful. It wasn’t a glamorous moment. In fact, I almost missed it. I had come from the bathroom to walk down the stairs to play a pick up game of volleyball when the thought brushed quietly through my mind – your greatest purpose is to love.

How simple? How broad? Isn’t that even cliché? I knew that I was to love, but when I stopped to really think about it I realized how revolutionary that thought was. My whole life I was looking for something totally different. I was looking for significance in doing something. Although if our purpose is to love, then being an artist, a mother, or a mayor is a way to express and give it. We certainly can do all those things that we are gifted at well, but without love we won’t feel fulfilled in our purpose. And who knows maybe you are so gifted, you may just change those avenues a few times in your lifetime.

Here’s the truth: Our purpose isn’t to prove the value of our existence by doing things. Our purpose is acknowledging the value of our existence by loving. At the end of my life, I don’t think I’ll ask if I got it all right, but I’m certain I’ll reflect back and wonder if I loved well.

 

x.

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5 thoughts on “9.

  1. Solomé says:

    Pisani! Mousse just linked me to a pic of yours and being the stalker that I am, I found your page. Love, love, love it! I truly enjoyed reading all your posts, but this one resonates the best. It is funny, actually, because I too had this exact moment, exact epiphany a few years back. The ability to love– truly, unabashedly, without judgment or contention, is the greatest gifts we can be given– in my humble opinion. I haven’t written in years, nothing seems to come like it did in our youth, but maybe I will find some inpiration from yours…. Thx, my love! Miss you and hope we can hang out next time you fly into town…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sally, with a smile on my face and my heart full, I couldn’t be more happy to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your heart. I never thought the day would come to feel like youth is behind us. Although in 10 years, we’ll feel the same about our 30’s. When I am back in town, I would LOVE to see you. It’s been too long!

      Like

  2. Maria L. says:

    Stumbled upon your blog today. This piece positively impacted my morning and most likely my perspective on life here on in. Thank you.

    Like

    • Maria, thank you for stumbling over here to Letters. The heart of the letters are to encourage and empower you, so I’m glad you got something out of it this morning! X

      Like

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